The Fowl Players of Perryville

It’s that time of the year again! Everyone is getting ready for Christmas Shopping and the latest, greatest, hottest toys are being announced by Dan Gerous Toys, Inc. in time for the season! However- there are major safety concerns that have been voiced by well- known consumer advocate “Wil” Pickett based on obtained test data. I. M. Weasely, lawyer and official spokesperson for Dan Gerous Toys, Inc., is here to “address all concerns” about the company, and “put the public’s minds at ease”. Meanwhile- Carva DeWood is deeply concerned about the toy giant putting “Carva’s Creations” out of business with their massive marketing and distribution budget. Help Officer Al O’Gainey, Head of Security- maintain order and keep an eye out for any sinister acts and security concerns!

Big changes are taking place at a small local television channel. A desire to compete with bigger networks by new station owner and General Manager G.I. Lovecash has prompted changes that have shaken up the whole staff at WPVL TV in Perryville, MD. The station once prided itself on wholesome family oriented programming with shows such as the Grecian Gourmet with Chef G. Georgioupolis. However, Lovecash plans to shake up the lineup to more edgy and shocking programming with a new show hosted by Goria de Vamp, “the Gothic Goddess” who has been surrounded by controversy her entire career because of the raunchy, gory movies she shows and her outlandish, graphic, and over the top stunts she performs in between segments, all in the name of ratings. Meanwhile, station accountant and mail room clerk Ida Beancounter has been noticing some peculiarities in financial reports, strange invoices coming to the station, and missing petty cash. She has enlisted the help of Private Detective and Security Officer Harvey de Grace to perform surveillance around the station and to report any unusual occurrences.

The Directors Glib Awards, (Canned Film Festivus), a competition that began with 100 entrants, has come down to its final three 3 directors. They include Drew Lotts, a curious amateur, Stevie Spielbored, the ‘famous’ director who looks down their nose at others, and Cinder Burns, a psychotic movie maker who puts their actors in dangerous and inappropriate situations. The organizer, Selly Lloyd, is under pressure from the board, and from some (shady) investors to make this a big success. Lloyd’s security chief, Tippy “Thunder” Briggs, a wanna-be action star, is a bit high strung and sensitive about their name, but is tasked with keeping order. You are here to view their submissions and recognize the top up and coming director in the horror/fantasy genre for this year! In addition to the accolades, there is a $5 million prize for the winner toward their next film.

Is 5 million worth killing for? Can there be a winner in this bunch of losers?

It’s 1955, and wealthy automobile magnate Sven Fürdenterder is about to unveil his company’s latest innovation that will change America forever. It’s a car with an engine that needs no gasoline, but instead runs on some mysterious alternative fuel. Considering that researcher Etta Mobile is the brains behind the new engine breakthrough, you would think that he would be happier about it, but Etta seems to be very worried about something. This new engine could turn out to be wonderful news for American drivers, but it is potentially devastating for Sloan Crude, President of the Helpers of the Oil & Gas Industry. HOGI is a lobbying group that is paid millions each year to further the cause of fossil fuels in Congress. A.C. Chevler also has grave concerns about the rumors of an alternative fuel engine, since it could bankrupt Chevler Industries, America’s #1 automaker. Security is tight as Sven Fürdenterder prepares to make his grand announcement, so don’t be surprised to see private eye Al O’Gainey patrolling the perimeter.

Let’s take a trip back to the 1970’s- to the wonderful world of 1970’s variety shows! The top show in the country is the wildly popular Donny and Gare Variety Show, but is everything as good behind the scenes as it appears on stage? Will squabbles and pay disputes break up the duo of Donny Johnson and Gare Bear? Could these disputes cause Donny to consider a departure from the duo to work with Sharky Tanker? And who is the crazed fan, Darla Rascal, who keeps showing up backstage and what does she know? Watch and find out- and help security officer Eddie Eiffel keep order over this backstage drama!!

Strange sightings of a “large man-like moth” (or “large moth-like man) have been seen in the town of Pleasant Point. Essie Johnson, a local home maker, has had several very close encounters with it- she was awakened one night to find it eating her clothes in her closet! Pleasant Point is a very small town, so small in fact that all of the GPS providers actually erased it from their software because “nobody goes there anyway” after the area became depressed ecomomically. (The town’s chief industry was “Big Box” stores like Wal-Mart and Home Depot- but when they left, the town tried to offer the workers some assistance in re-purposing their job skills. Unfortunately, the only institute of higher learning anywhere near this town was the local barber school. This resulted in the townspeople having 268 barbers in town, and it was hard to survive cutting one person’s hair every other month, so the citizens started to abandon the town) Johnson calls The Mayor, Mayor Hewson-Charge, to make a report, an exterminator, Gawain Killet to rid her home of this intruder, and her favorite paranormal radio host, Neil N. DeGrasse, because hey, this would make for great radio! Officer Mannon Black has been dispatched from the Federal Bureau of Unusual and Unexplained Phenomena to investigate and see if this “Mothman” is monster or myth!

Welcome to the auction of the year! Northeby’s Auction House is proud to present the finest collection of historic artwork and writings ever. Alex Northeby will be conducting this special auction, which has attracted many wealthy bidders, including Christopher Columbus Rigatoni (an actual American descendent of the famous explorer). A piece of Native American art has drawn “Sitting Cow” Henderson to the auction, and that ancient charcoal drawing has also attracted the attention of eccentric Swede Magnus Swartling. However, Swartling doesn’t have the kind of big bucks it will take to bid on any of these items. With such priceless works of historical art here, tight security is a necessity, but why is FBI Agent Chip Ahoy snooping around and asking questions about someone named Swen? Is it possible that…”There’s Something About Swen?”

Event host and venue owner, Payden Fuller welcomes you to a new live ghost hunt, Haunted

And Taunted. This is their last attempt at making this place financially successful. Experts will

attempt to summon and communicate with the evil spirit of Mountebank Duppy, a person

who purportedly perished somewhere in this venue. Influencer and ghost expert, Perry

Normal will lead the search for spooky goings on. Flamboyant psychic, Marlo Extra

(Medium), will attempt to make contact with the spirits, while looking for their ‘big break,

’

(however they can get it.) An expert debunker of so-called paranormal events, D. Thomas,

has been brought in to sniff out fakery and expose any scammers. Part-time Private Eye,

full-time pizza delivery driver, and all-time paranormal fan, Casey Closer is here to keep

peace between the experts. Tonight, The Spirit is Killing . . . or is it?

It’s that time of year again, when families across the country are working hard to help their children get accepted into the college of their choice. The prestigious Meehan University is holding an admissions fair to recruit and screen potential candidates for the fall semester. Socialite Edwinna Take-Suttal, promised her dear friends, Mr. and Mrs. Otto Van Doltson, (who tragically died in 2017 participating in the “Tide Pod Challenge”) as their dying wish to ensure that their daughter, incorrigible internet influencer Kaygheleeaighee Van Doltson-AKA “Influenca” is admitted to Meehan U., their alma mater. Edwina Take-Suttal has had much difficulty in doing so, having tried everything- tutors- test prep courses- all to no avail- and her last hope (since she is running out of her own money) is enlisting the help of Phillip S. Pockets- a well known and questionably scrupled “College Admissions Coach” who “knows how to get the desired results” for his clients even when trying to impress tough nuts to crack like Thurston Hunger- Dean of Admissions of Meehan U. Chief of Campus Security- Officer Stu Dent is on hand to make sure that the admissions fair at Meehan U goes on without incident.